Never Take Fatherhood/How-To-Be-a-Man Lessons From A Good Day To Die Hard’s John McLane

My wife and I just finished watching A Good Die To Die Hard, the fifth installment in the ongoing saga(?) of wisecracking cowboy-cop, John McLane (Bruce Willis). Now, McLane has never been painted much as a great father or husband – remember how good ole John was separated from his wife before taking down Hans Gruber (the incomparable Alan Rickman) at the end of Die Hard (arguably the greatest action films ever made)? – but that’s generally because he was married to his work and he couldn’t juggle being a cop with having a family. By the third film McLane is divorced. By the fourth film he’s estranged from his daughter. This most recent film has John traveling to Russia to find out why his son is in prison.

I’m not even going to go into the plot since it’s so nonsensical, so let’s skip right to McLane’s character. Usually a fun, flawed guy, this John McLane comes off as nothing short of a bully. When he finds out his son has been working undercover for the CIA for three years, there’s zero pride; he simply says he suspected John Jr. of selling drugs. I think this is meant to be a joke, but if so, it flops script-wise AND gives off a terrible message to parents.

At another point, Jr. is impaled by a thick piece of metal after which we have a five or so minute sequence during which McLane and his heavily buff, highly trained CIA son have the following conversation:

John: You’re not gonna cry, are you?

Jack: Just pull it.

John: Everybody needs a good cry once in awhile, Jack. Don’t be ashamed.

Jack: Pull it.

John: You remember that time when you and Ralphie Mauser were gonna have that house-painting job? Got your finger caught in the ladder? You cried for about 5, 6 days.

Jack: John, just pull it!

Again, I think this supposed to be a humorous scene, but how does John McClane not come off as an uncaring bastard here? His son who he came all the way to Russia to find and help has been injured and he’s giving him “tough guy” lessons? “Oh, is the little CIA boy gonna cry?” And this comes after an earlier scene where John laments neglecting his son (which Jack overhears).

By the time the obligatory “I love you” (from both father and son) came around, it was too late for this stay-at-home dad as McLane had already proven himself to be a terrible dad and really hasn’t learned all that much; it doesn’t help that neither father nor son can really look at each other when attempting to emote. According to A Good Day To Die Hard, to be a McLane is to be overly tough and withholding.

Worse, to be a dad is to be a bully.