Deep breath.
That’s what I though the morning of Sienna’s first class. Elaine doesn’t know this. No one knows this. I was extremely nervous and I was so so glad my wife was going with Sienna and I to this music class at Thinkertots in Bayside, NY, because I’m not sure I could have done it alone. I know my daughter needs to get out as much as possible and I’ve been working on it, but I’ve also been dragging my feet because of my own fears about…what? I’m not sure, exactly. I just know I feel still feel a bit anxious taking her out and going to a class alone, most likely being the only dad in the room, felt very overwhelming. I think that’s one of the reasons I couldn’t decide on that class at Alley Pond Environmental Center that I wrote about a few blogs ago. Maybe I disguised it as a nap issue when in reality it was all about me?
Regardless, Sienna needed a class and so we signed her up for a music class Sunday mornings which allowed Elaine to go as well. Elaine teared up when we attended Thinkertots’ open house. She’d never told me how much she wanted to go to Sienna’s first class, but the morning of the open house, after Sienna was signed and sealed (she’d been delivered nearly 18-months prior…ha-ha!), Elaine disclosed just how much she wanted to go and I felt this enormous relief because no matter what, I wouldn’t be alone.
So back to the morning of the class itself. I was nervous. I wasn’t sure how many other parents and kids would be there. I wasn’t sure how Sienna would react, but I knew she needed to socialize. I leaned heavily on Elaine without her knowing about it. It turned out only two other kids were there; a 2-year-old and a 9-mo-old. Both were accompanied by women, so I was, as expected, the only guy. Sienna sat on Elaine’s lap for the early part of the class which allowed me to channel my anxiety into taking photos. She seemed nervous and a bit scared of the louder songs during which we used instruments such as bells and maracas handed out by our teacher, Miss Michelle. But she liked the slower songs and when we got to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” she gave me a smile and came over to sit on my lap. Then the scarves and bubbles came out and that’s when Sienna really began to enjoy herself and so did I.
By the end of the class my anxiety was gone. I’d survived and even came out my shell a bit. Sienna and Elaine had a great time. We’ll be attending music class every Sunday until the end of January and I hope more kids and parents show up because I really want Sienna to interact with other kids and I wouldn’t mind spending time with other parents. If another dad shows up, that’d be great, but if not, it’s ok. I realized after the class that having Elaine there was a bonus, not a crutch. The class was all about my daughter’s experience and her growth. Well, that’s not true – it’s also about our bonding in a social situation and that might be what’s most important. I’m happy to say looking forward to this Sunday.
