It’s hard to believe that Sienna lives in a world in which the Twin Towers no longer stand, that when she’s studying about the tragedy of 9/11 in school textbooks, she’ll probably feel as far removed from it as I do from JFK’s assassination, Pearl Harbor, the Holocaust, and so many other significant historical events. So how will I teach my daughter about 9/11? About how the world changed and didn’t change when those planes hit the towers, another hit the Pentagon, and a fourth was brought down by courageous passengers over Pennsylvania during the worst foreign terrorist attack on American soil? I guess it will be through the memory of actually living through it as my mom must have learned from her parents who fled Poland during World War II and my dad must have learned about living through the Great Depression from his parents. Fact: I was in Manhattan on that day. Fact: I was not near the destruction nor do I know of anyone personally who perished, but like almost everyone I know, I know people who knew people – Elaine’s friend’s husband; my father’s always pleasant acquaintance. And so I’ll describe to Sienna what I saw and lived through, things she can never truly learn from textbooks.
The most lasting image I have of 9/11 is standing on the roof of my office building on 22nd Street and 2nd Avenue, watching the Twin Towers burning while across the street, a handful of boys played schoolyard basketball under an azure sky. It was eerie, seeing life change forever and go on simultaneously, watching innocence up close and evil in the background. I never saw the towers fall for I’d left the roof just before the first crumbled so I could call my dad who worked in Chinatown to make sure he was ok, so like most people, I only experienced that devastation during the constant loop that was television over the next few days.
I remember one of the professors at work being stranded in Florida, how she was frantic, unable to contact her firefighter husband for days while he bravely helped victims and then worked all hours clearing Ground Zero. I will tell her how many such intrepid people eventually succumbed to cancer and other illnesses thanks to toxins they were forced to breathe.
I remember my dad picking me up at work, us driving to Queens, and me staring at a Manhattan skyline where a giant dust cloud had displaced the World Trade Center.
I remember attending the only candlelight vigil I’ve ever been to. It was held that night in front of my apartment building. Strangers cried and hugged each other.
I remember the city, the country, the world coming together.
I will tell Sienna how the entertainment and pop culture machine screeched to a halt for the first and only time in my life, and that when it returned, it did so cautiously; David Letterman’s sadness and weariness, his wondering if it was ok to laugh again; me attending my first ever World Series game, Game 3 between the Yankees and Arizona Diamondbacks at which President George W. Bush threw out the first pitch as snipers lay still as stone on top of old Yankee Stadium.
I will tell Sienna about the grief that consumed the city, but also the love and unity.
I will take Sienna to the World Trade Center Memorial and wonder if she can feel the presence of the iconic Twin Towers as we stand in front of the beautifully designed fountains in which are carved the names of lost citizens and police officers and firefighters in the shadow of the Freedom Tower, a building that for her will be part of her normal landscape, but for me will always feel something like an intruder.
I will show her the giant purple beams of light that appear each 9/11. I will let her watch the names of the lost being read by their loved ones. And when she’s old enough, I will show her United 93 and explain the visceral reaction I had when I first saw it, the film being one of the very few I’ve seen that really hit me emotionally, and how I often watch it on 9/11 as my way to remember and honor the thousands lost that day.
I will be there to answer any questions she might have and will do so openly and honestly, and I will hope that she never has to experience something akin to or worse than 9/11, something that will forevermore necessitate the word: Remember.
M
September 11, 2013 at 1:02pmBeautifully expressed; cold hard facts intertwined with heartfelt emotions.
I remember driving home after dropping my son off at school and hearing of a plane crash via radio. I thought nothing of it until I got home and turned the tv on. Sitting there alone watching with horror, I cried and cried until I had nothing left. I searched frantically for pictures that my then boyfriend and I took way on top of one of the towers. Whenever I see those two pics, I feel the pain all over again, as does today. Even now as I write this I am on the verge of tears, let me correct that, tears already running down my face.
What you plan to say to your little girl we’ve said to our son who was in the fifth grade back then. He knew and he saw the footage, however emotionally unaffected (at least on the outside) because of his age and to some degree innocence. Now that he’s a young man, it’s made him somewhat cynical with a calloused heart. He believes there’s good in this world, but he also knows that evil is powerful.
Our hearts go out to everyone who was affected in one way or another. We will NEVER forget. 🙁
Lorne Jaffe
September 18, 2013 at 4:53amThanks so much for the story and compliments, M
sherry amatenstein
September 11, 2013 at 1:50pmTerrific job, Lorne. Very, very moving.
Lorne Jaffe
September 18, 2013 at 4:52amThanks Sherry 🙂
Darrell - Modern Father Online
September 11, 2014 at 10:16pmI wish we didn’t have to teach our kids about this. I wish we could have viewed the Twin Towers from atop the Empire State Building when we take a family trip to New York. It sucks that this happened. Although I was 15,979 km or 9935 miles away, trust me, I felt the impact and still do to this day.
I hoped that this was the last we’d see of mass terrorism, but it wasn’t. Sadly for us Australian the terrorism came closer to us 1 year, 1 month and 1 day later when the Bali bombings occurred. Bali is Australia’s playground. For many Australians Bali is the destination for their first overseas trip.
My boys will no doubt want to go there one day either on a family holiday or with their friends on completion of high school. They will learn about this horror too and we will have stories to tell them just as you will have those to tell Sienna.
But I still wish we didn’t have to.
Lorne Jaffe
September 12, 2014 at 9:42amSo true, Darrell. So true.
CJ Marshall
September 12, 2014 at 10:47amThank you for posting Lorne, I often wonder the same thing. Its hard to believe an event we lived and experienced so closely, will be in history books. I’m not sure what to tell Amelia when she asks me why people attacked the building, or why people are bad. The innocence of children is so revered and I want to protect it for so long, that I really don’t want to expose her to the horrors of 9/11, but as were from NY, I know I’ll need to take her to Ground Zero some day and talk to her about it, and I’ll need to be prepared to field those questions that innocent children ask, that even those with PhD’s don’t know how to answer. I know my heart will be crushed having to tell her that there are bad people in the world, but I know its something that will need to be done.
Lorne Jaffe
September 12, 2014 at 1:57pmBad people have been around since the beginning of human existence. It’s sort of like imagine taking your child to a concentration camp and trying to explain what happened there. The only difference is that we were around for this one. All we can do is our best when it comes to explaining what happened…just trust in ourselves to stress that there are many more good people out there than there are bad. That’s what’s most important, I think. Thanks for the comment!
Jenn Marshall
September 11, 2015 at 2:00pmSo eloquently written, Lorne. Thank you for sharing this touching post.