The Nightmare Before Love

I forgot to turn the baby monitor on last night which, as you’d expect, meant Sienna was due for a nightmare. I woke up sometime before 6 when Elaine brought our hysterical daughter into our bed. I hadn’t heard her screaming, but Elaine had. Apparently she went into Sienna’s room and the girl was an absolute wreck – wailing like a banshee, tears and snot streaking down her face, body trembling. She could have been screaming for hours before Elaine finally heard her for all we know. My amazing wife did her best to comfort her, rocking her in a chair, but the trembling and crying didn’t stop. Eventually she decided to bring her to our room and soon afterwards, Sienna calmed down. After about an hour or so, she fell asleep.

I don’t remember much. I recall stroking Sienna’s hair and back while half asleep. At one point I went to the bathroom which evidently led to Sienna going nuts and calling out, “Daddy! Daddy!” until I came back. I never heard this, but Elaine told me about it while she was getting ready for work. I have to say that although I felt some surprise, the overwhelming emotion filling my body was love…love for this little girl who was so terrified that I’d left the room. She needed me! My daughter needed me and through her words and actions showed her love for me.

It makes me wonder about that nightmare. Was I in it? Did something bad happen to me? Is that why she panicked when I left the room? You know, it doesn’t matter. I’d rather think she needed the security of both of us in that moment and she freaked when I left. Regardless, this nightmare proved a few things: 1) Sienna calls me “Daddy” 2) She needs and loves me 3) I can no longer think of a time when I loved my daughter more.

Sienna’s napping now and I hope her dreams are sweet. And Daddy, who thanks to an awful nightmare got to experience a deep feeling of love, will be right here when she awakes.